When families embark on a wean, it often feels like a pretty clear and linear process, at least in theory. The steps are precisely outlined, and the obvious end goal is an oral eater. Simple enough, right? While some kids do move through the weaning steps in a linear fashion, so many more find themselves taking a few steps forward only to need to take a temporary step back.
If you’ve ever followed a baby-led weaning (BLW) Facebook group or Instagram page, you’re likely to find an often aggressive stance that purees and spoon-feeding are NOT ok or part of this approach. If you recall from part 1 of this series, my approach to BLW is more about being a responsive feeder than adhering to the strict definition of this method. In other words, it’s less about what you feed or even how, and more about how you respond to your child.
Baby-led weaning (BLW) is a way of introducing solids that has become popular over the past several years. The concept revolves around introducing solids in the form of family foods and jumping straight to finger foods that the baby self-feeds, rather than purees that are fed by the parent. Babies should generally wait to start solids until six months adjusted, but this applies even more specifically to baby-led weaning infants, as they need to have the core stability to self-feed and good core control and head control to reduce the risk of choking.
We often talk about ‘weanable foods’ and ‘meeting the child where they are at’ skill wise when we wean. For new eaters, the easiest way to present foods that are easy to eat and caloric are to consistently offer purees. But, the reality is that not every child is a fan of purees. This is especially tricky as kids get a bit older and begin to watch their peers and/or siblings eat ‘big kid’ foods which they want to imitate (which is great for motivation, but tricky for intake). And when you think about it, the majority of foods that adults eat are not pureed.
When we are ready to see our kids eat orally, we often are so excited to see anything go into the mouth, we don’t give much thought to what it is. And while it is true that there is a place for all foods in a balanced and healthy diet, while weaning, caregivers need to introduce foods that a child can sustain themselves on as we remove nutrition from the tube. So, when we are beginning to gear up for a wean from tube feedings, we have to add the thought ‘Are these foods weanable?’
Weaning a toddler can be so gratifying – especially as they begin to explore and enjoy foods that you truly wondered if they ever would! But it can also present some unique challenges, especially as toddlers develop new interests and opinions about the world around them! One of these challenges centers on how aware your toddler is of their tube feeds, and becomes especially tricky when your toddler begins to protest those feeds.
When our kids start to eat orally, the fear of gagging and choking is ever present with many parents. And initially, as your child explores new foods and textures, their desire for new foods may outpace their oral motor skills. This can bring about a subset of gagging that is totally developmentally appropriate. So, let’s look at what is going on to help determine if your child’s gagging needs more direct intervention or will just be a normal phase that will be over soon.
All of parenting is a bit of a ‘trial by fire,’ but that is never more true than when you find yourself worried about your tiny person’s pooping habits. All of parenting is a bit of a ‘trial by fire,’ but that is never more true than when you find yourself worried about your tiny person’s pooping habits.
We’ve all heard before that self-talk dictates your outlook on life, can change your attitude, and aid in success. This is 100% true when you are working with your child on their feeding skills.
“I’ll never forget the day our feeding therapist came to us and said, “If you’re not ready to explore weaning, I think we’ve gone as far as we can with therapy.” All the emotions seemed to hit at once. I had come to a place where I never thought I would see the day that my child was able to eat completely on her own. Though there was no medical reason for her to have a tube that could be identified anymore, it was surreal to hear that my little one was ready.
From start to finish, our wean took about 9 weeks. Here are the biggest lessons that I learned…”
“…when it comes time to consider whether or not weaning is safe for your child, naturally, you may have concerns about the way that a wean – particularly one that features the safe introduction of appetite by gradually reducing the number of calories put through a tube – would impact your child’s brain development. So, in an effort to answer these concerns, let’s take some time to understand two important principles.”
Yes, we all want to see kids growing and thriving. Yes, we know that relatively consistent growth is necessary to support development, neurological flourishing, and your child’s full potential. But, we don’t really know what that “growth” looks like for any one, individual kid. Just like adults vary in sizes, so do kids!
One of my favorite Ellyn Satter quotes is “when parents do their jobs with feeding, children do their jobs with eating”. It is certainly apparent that infants and toddlers need their parents to play an active role in helping them to form happy relationships with food. But it’s important to remember that older children (even adolescents) still need their parental involvement.
The most predictable thing about toddler eating is that it is unpredictable. Variations in appetite will occur and while there will be days when your toddler only wants to lick, taste, or nibble, there will be other days when the volume of food consumed is unfathomable. Trust that your toddler knows how much to consume at each eating opportunity.
Growing Independent Eaters embraces and utilizes the feeding principles developed by Ellyn Satter. We use them because these principles have been validated through research to improve mealtime experiences in the long-term. And that’s what we want for your child: a life-long, happy, trusting, healthy relationship with food. And that kind of long-term success starts by implementing some really important principles, starting in infancy.
Weaning your child from a feeding tube can be stressful and exhausting for a number of reasons, one being that often, a weaning child can begin to wake up at night, crying for reasons that they can’t quite articulate. And while 3 am is sleepy time – especially for us parents! – there are some good ideas for helping you to get through.
