How to Wean From Screens
Elisabeth Kraus, MA
There’s little I love more than cuddling up with my pajama-clad girls on the couch for dinner and a movie – and I don’t think I’m the only one! A lot of families enjoy eating on the couch from time to time, plates on laps, balancing drinks nearby with the hope that no one kicks them over. And to be honest, I find nothing wrong with occasionally eating with the family in front of a screen because, at the end of the day, those weaning from tube feeds have to wean into the life that they have – and sometimes, that includes a very literal version of “dinner and a movie.”
But if you’re finding that the occasional screen is turning into an everyday occurrence, or even more, that your child is becoming reliant on a screen in order to stay at the table, then it might be time to think about removing screens from the mealtime experience. Because weaning from a literal feeding tube means nothing if you’ve replaced it with the “screen version” of a feeding tube.
And at the end of the day, the goal for weaning is freedom! Happy, independent eating for everyone who gathers around the family table.
First, keep in mind that setting boundaries around what you’re going to include in mealtimes (and what you’re not) is a good and healthy thing to do! It’s not punishment for your kids – or for you! It’s simply making the hard choice to embrace the sustainable eating dynamic that you want for your family. At first, your child might respond to the new boundary with protesting or eating less, which means that it’s important for you to enter this decision with the long-term goal in mind.
Successful eating is not just about one meal, one day, or even one week. A temporary protest or a short time of eating less doesn’t mean that the decision to remove screens is wrong, bad or harmful. Here are some tips for how to go about this with as little disruption as possible.
Rather than going “cold turkey” off of screens, consider weaning from them over time. And rather than promising screen at or towards the end of a meal, try turning them off sooner instead.
Begin meals with screens, just as you have been, but turn the screen off 2-3 minutes sooner than you normally would. But don’t end the meal! Help your child to begin tolerating table time without the screen by expecting the meal to continue for at least 1 minute after the screen is off. There is no expectation for your child to eat or engage with food during that minute, however, because the focus is resiliency and calmness at the table.
Every 2-3 days, decrease that time by 2-3 more minutes and increase the time at the table by 1-2 more minutes. When you near the point where your screen is on for less than 5 minutes, consider replacing the screens with music instead, recognizing that mealtimes can still include joyful sounds that support independent eating, rather than detracting from it.
More than anything, remind yourself that weaning from screens supports your child in developing an even more positive relationship with mealtimes: you’re making space for increased autonomy in their eating and increased connection in their relationships with the people eating with them. And that is an incredible gift!